First. Fast. Not Flawed.

Alvin hasn’t been a good boy recently. He is supposed to be studying for the 3 papers he has next week but he hasn’t done anything but goof off and waste his time away on trivial matters like cooking and buying new fishes (online of course).

Today is the last day of november. That means the hectic and money-burning December is just 12 hours away. Other then exams, I have to attend to

• 2 weddings
• Phuket trip
• Christmas Celebrations
• Penang/KL trip
• Fishing/crabbing
• Mindless L4D2 gatherings
• Teaching tuition (To ensure I dont go penniless)
• Going back to church.
• Chee’s last party.

Well, the bunch of us went to catch Julie and Julia, directed by Nora Ephron on the pretext of academic instructions which turned out to be optional. *Hint hint*

However, the movie wasn’t that bad with Meryl Streep performing at her best as Julia and Amy Adams looking cute as the modern Julie. I am not going into detail about the movie for it was afterall a very simple and straightforward story about women finding strength in life through something they enjoy doing. But since I was supposed to talk about blogging(Julie’s blogging was a main highlight), I shall do so in own light.

I too agree with Julie’s feelings of responsibility and desire to blog. For once she realised she had readers on her blog, she was obliged to keep writing and posting entries as she established a relationship with her readers. Soon, she started pouring out her deepest feelings and insecurities to people that she has never met in person and only through nicknames and online text messages. Her blog did grow to be as big as mrbrown or xiaxue’s blogs for those unintiated.

*Note: her readers send her gifts by mail and comment frequently, you won’t find that here though. =(

In contrast, the blog bubblechunks is nowhere near those giants. Which is just as well, I don’t have entertainment tidbits to share nor nuggets of fashion advice for the masses. After all, this is a outlet for my expression of thoughts, beliefs and things i find interesting on the world wide web. I do believe I have a sizable share of followers, namely friends who use this blog to check up on me and my mortality status.

While I also share that responsibility of “writing something for them to read and enjoy” with Julie, I use the blog as an online book which i pen down frustrations and personal thoughts on matters which i might hide in public. Ironic though, that I am sharing that to others not through face-to-face but behind a keyboard and a Dell monitor. But yet, if I did not blog, I would never write. For in another example of irony, I found keeping diaries pointless. Who wants to know what you were doing ten years earlier? But in a blog, I can share something that was private but yet shareable.

It does sound ridiculous, sharing something private? Perhaps it is an expression of individualism in a form of anonymity where the risk of censure or impressionism is lessen. So the expansion of the internet in the 21th century has made us all more wimpy then our friends 30 years back.

Certainly. But you wouldn’t be reading this without it now would you?

Btw, I found the real julie powell’s blog. Happy reading!

I have be repeatedly asked the question “Are you alright?” this couple of weeks. Apparently, other people have noticed something wrong with me. According to them, I haven’t be acting my normal joking fun self.

The funny thing is, a small part of the problem arises from where the help is originating from amongst other components. Now, the real complexity of my problem shows itself when I say it isn’t really anybody’s fault and that I am equally at blame. Now I am talking like a born skeptic. Maybe that’s why I always seek quietude but that doesnt solve anything now does it.

Well, things aren’t alright. Maybe if you looked harder, you might  realised it earlier and done something.

It’s funny how life lessons come in the strangest ways or manners you least expect. I accompanied my precious grandmother watching the mega 3hr taiwanese soap opera on chn8. She stayed over for the weekend and my parents aren’t around to keep her company.

The opera, in its 452452 episode, has progressed to a stage where the big powerful hotel tycoon is struggling with heart problems. As he struggled to even stand, his kids are all at a lost at how to cope without their strongest family pillar  supporting them. It suddenly dawned on me that I am at the age where my parents are not as immortal as I always thought since young. Always believing that they will always be around, I believe i have been taking their presence for granted, never thinking about the “what if”.

I had a brief taste of that “what if” when an old family friend died suddenly of heart problems. We as a family were close, the parents having their honeymoon together, the kids attending the same schools together. Looking at the grief that they had, it was truly frightening.

I am not trying to avoid the inevitable or escape from reality. But yet, if I could hold on to our treasures, I would certainly do so in all my power for the longest time possible.

God bless them and dear my grandmother. I love them in words that I cannot express freely due to social rules here.

But that is another entry.

[I just learnt from my grandmother that she used to do trishaws from the newton market back home! =) ]

I am really glad I stuck to my decision. Though there may still be longing, I think the notion of being free from all the fuss and drama really out weighs all the unclear 50-50 factors. This is the right decision.

I hope.